This sucks

I didn’t realize how much pleasure I got out of food until I stopped getting any pleasure out of food.  I just made liver – duck liver which is supposed to be mild – and the consistency was so weird it activated my gag reflux several times.  I made three pieces and with apologies to the ducks who provided the meat to me, they are going in the trash.

I’m dealing with some major anger about my situation.  Like, I am furious.  Furious and exhausted.  I’m once again crying.  So am I trading stomach issues for depression?  Will I need therapy after another week of this?  Why is this the only diet that has worked?  Was I sick because I could not eat this food?  Am I doomed to a life of medication OR never eating delicious food again?

The liver was my breakfast for tomorrow.  Now I have to run to the store to get some fish.  I am getting physically depressed by this.  This is not good.

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