Day 21

Another day. As you can glean, I have been very discouraged. The food is weird; a lot of it is downright gross; and the prep/cleanup time is exhausting.

I was thinking about how I used to do things and realize that I can probably bring some of those things back in, at the very least using frozen vegetables for a quick(er) dinner. There is no reason for me to be cooking all of these vegetables from scratch, when I can get inexpensive, flash frozen, organic SCD approved veg from my corner market.

Also, again, I need to be making – as Iowa calls it – vats of food I can eat so I always have lots food on hand especially for snacking. Today’s purchase: many apples.

I finally tried my bone broth stew. Overall, it takes great, however, it is so high fat it is a little disgusting. I think I may have misunderstood the butcher – she said not to drain off all the fat so I didn’t drain it at all. I think in the future I should let it set and pull off at least some of it. At this point, because a lot of the liquid cooked off, it may be too late to salvage this particular stew but for future, I think draining it a bit will make it much easier for me to eat and digest. TMI: I am seeing fat floating in the toilet. For realz.  That is how much that is in this.  Whoa.

Also, I think I should rely a bit more on foods I am familiar with so I don’t drive myself batty. To wit, reincorporating some lower fat chicken. She says to stay away from that – but I’m getting so turned off by all this meat and fat I think I need to break myself in a little more slowly so I don’t lose my mind.

On the plus side yesterday was my best stomach day. 0-1.5 was my overall digestive range. Iowa pointed out how it has been weeks since I was bloated, and that for the past several years, I have been almost perpetually bloated.

In that vein, as a reach the end of three weeks, to recap:

  • No bloating, or hours of  cramping (except occasionally a moment’s worth when I am actually on the toilet)
  • Very little heartburn, and often none
  • Still have lots of belching, often alligator like
  • Still have some gurgling in stomach
  • Constipation has morphed into daily soft almost-diarrhea – not sure what this is about but it’s more comfortable so I’ll take it
  • Skin still looks bad (but no worse, maybe even slightly better) but is bothering me much less. I feel an improvement almost every day.
  • Energy is up-and-down. I suspect it is from under eating. I am trying to eat more so we’ll see.

So, generally speaking, I see a lot of improvement. But it comes at a steep cost mentally and somewhat psychologically. I am really working hard to fight off clinical depression. But I suspect a lot of it is that I no longer have my cookie-coping mechanism and have to do it all without food. Either way, I am feeling very overwhelmed and even with meditation exhausted by it.  Hanging in as I approach a month.  Proud of myself and pleased with improvement.  But wow so hard.

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